I received a question recently about a nanny who is working in the home of her friend after the second child was born. Like with most times when you work for family or friends, some rules can go out of bounds. Check out the question and read my response.

I live with a friend and work as her Nanny. She just had her second child and isn’t working at the moment so I am just extra help here for her. I am only being paid in room and board and a little money when it’s available which is rarely.

I am sometimes ready to be in my room for some alone time before one or both of the children are asleep and in bed. For example it’s almost midnight and I am ready to go to sleep but I am in the room with the baby and the mommy is in her room. Is there a way I can voice this to my friend. Any tips for making some bondaries concerning time limits on my Nanny services

Firstly, I do believe it is possible to work as a Nanny for a friend. However, like all things, in the beginning there must be a set of rules or agreement as a Nanny. Maybe you don’t want to enter formal contract because you are friends and that is fine but some type of oral agreement must be made. From your personal situation it seems like nothing has been really clear but the room and board. However, with a new born child comes more responsibility even if she is home. To address this issue, is simple but of course more sensitive because it is your friend.

At the same time, it could be easier. At this point, unless you don’t want to end up with lots of frustration and ending your friendship you must speak with your friend. Explain to her your feelings and that you would like things clearly stated. Also, your space is important as a nanny and if you feel like you are looking after both kids 24hrs including during your free time it must be .

How to do it.

Ask your friend if you can sit down and discuss possibilities of actually paying

Ask your friend your exact duties now as nanny, now that she has a newborn and while she is home

Ask your friend her plans when she plans to go back to work

Explain to her that you are debating changing or looking for more work outside of your current environment.

When you state things clear and explain that your friendship is separate from your job all should be fine!

Good luck!

Sara J.