Well Grandmas… There is always a soft spot for their grand children and of course spoiling them. Its natural, but could it get in the way of your work? I had a question from a Nanny:

Ive been working as a nanny for the past three months for three wonderful kids. My employer has been great and they treat me great.My problem is that the kid’s grandmother likes to come to the house and “play” with the kids all day which is very frusterating for me because i feel like there is no point in me being there then. Ive talked to my employer about it and she talked to the grandmother so now she comes around less often. the other day one of the kids asked me why grandma doesnt come as much. i polietly responded with “Im not sure, maybe she’s busy.” to which the child says “grandma says its because you dont like her.” i tried to just change the subject. anyway i dont know what to do. i feel like the grandma is trying to turn the kids against me. i feel like quiting but everything else is going great. what should i do? Ive already told my employer and she just laughed it off. thanks

Although it is a sensitive subject with the Grandmother it can be resolved fairly easily. If you have been treated well during your first three months and your employers have actually made changes so that the big “G” would not interfere with your job, that is a good sign. It shows that you can communicate with the family and that is the most important. I think your first decision in asking the parents to the Grandmother to give you more time with the kids is fine. However, you could make it work for you also. Being a nanny can be wearisome and tiresome, so honestly any free time is good time, especially if you’re being paid the same. I think the best solution is to let the Grandmother be with the grand kids during a set time. That way you both won’t “bump heads” because its understandable that she wants to take care and be around her grand children. Since you’ve already spoken to the parents, kindly sit down with them all and make some type of an agreement.

Obviously the kids love being around her, so you don’t want there to be battle between you and Granny, who has been there with them all of kids lives!

Good luck!

I received a question recently about a nanny who is working in the home of her friend after the second child was born. Like with most times when you work for family or friends, some rules can go out of bounds. Check out the question and read my response.

I live with a friend and work as her Nanny. She just had her second child and isn’t working at the moment so I am just extra help here for her. I am only being paid in room and board and a little money when it’s available which is rarely.

I am sometimes ready to be in my room for some alone time before one or both of the children are asleep and in bed. For example it’s almost midnight and I am ready to go to sleep but I am in the room with the baby and the mommy is in her room. Is there a way I can voice this to my friend. Any tips for making some bondaries concerning time limits on my Nanny services

Firstly, I do believe it is possible to work as a Nanny for a friend. However, like all things, in the beginning there must be a set of rules or agreement as a Nanny. Maybe you don’t want to enter formal contract because you are friends and that is fine but some type of oral agreement must be made. From your personal situation it seems like nothing has been really clear but the room and board. However, with a new born child comes more responsibility even if she is home. To address this issue, is simple but of course more sensitive because it is your friend.

At the same time, it could be easier. At this point, unless you don’t want to end up with lots of frustration and ending your friendship you must speak with your friend. Explain to her your feelings and that you would like things clearly stated. Also, your space is important as a nanny and if you feel like you are looking after both kids 24hrs including during your free time it must be .

How to do it.

Ask your friend if you can sit down and discuss possibilities of actually paying

Ask your friend your exact duties now as nanny, now that she has a newborn and while she is home

Ask your friend her plans when she plans to go back to work

Explain to her that you are debating changing or looking for more work outside of your current environment.

When you state things clear and explain that your friendship is separate from your job all should be fine!

Good luck!

Sara J.

Role of a Nanny

The role of a nanny includes things like being educators, nutritionists, activity coordinators, researchers, friends, and much more. They do more than any babysitter could provide as their job is not to keep the child out of trouble for a few hours, but for their life. It is up to you to decide who you hire as a nanny for your family.

There is no official seal of approval that nannies have. Yet, it is very strongly recommended that you take the time to find out about their experience and their education.

Most nannies will have special education under their belt for child care. These skills should be evident in the way that they work with children, in the decisions that they make and on paper from the school itself. A nanny with special child care skills is a person that has dedicated their education to becoming a child care specialist, something you definitely want to have in your home.

It is strongly recommended that you consider the educational background of the nanny before you hire them to care for your child. Even someone that has had their own children may not know all that they should about the educational and social development of a child. Many colleges offer this type of education and there are also a number of nanny institutes that are a tool to consider as well. As you will see, there are a number of different ways to hire a nanny, but this is one aspect that should never go without detailed research.